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Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Does somebody’s achievements hurt you or encourage you?

By: Lindokuhle Mnisi

What happens when the people around you succeed in life? When your peers achieve something that you haven’t achieved and when they acquire things you wish to acquire? What happens when your close friends get paying jobs, buy cars and start living a lavish lifestyle? What happens when they build or buy beautiful houses for themselves and their families? How does seeing your neighbour achieve so much makes you feel? What happens when your little brother or sister starts a successful business and move forth in life while you are still hustling and struggling?

What should that do to you? How should you respond to all that? Should it hurt you? Should it break you apart and make you feel stupid, useless and helpless? Should somebody else’s achievements depress you? Is this the time when you start seeing how people are so “full of themselves” and how “they think they are better than others”? When people get successful in life, is it the right moment to start noticing how they hate you and how “they hate helping other people”? Is this the time when you develop jealousy in your heart? Or is this the time when you get encouraged and challenged to work harder than you were already doing?

Seeing other people succeed in life is naturally painful. Yes it. It puts a lot of pressure on every individual. It has the potential to create anger within ourselves. Seeing some people succeed in life gives us stress. But it differs from one person to another on what kind of stress does it cause. Is it a negative stress (distress) or a positive stress (eustress)? It also differs from person to person on how they deal with the stress.

Some people break down, cry and suffer depression. Some see a need to stand up for their lives and do more. Some people get anxious and give up on everything they were doing and start thinking they are not meant to succeed. While some people take it as a challenge to stay on track in pursuit of their goals, dreams, success and happiness.

Problems begin when you start "noticing' how somebody thinks "the is too big for his own shoes since he bought a car". Trouble starts when you begin to say "after getting that job, he now thinks he is better than all of us" and "Since he started appearing on TV and talking on Radio, he thinks he is the man."

In most cases, it is not because successful people brag or shove it on everybody's throat that they achieved something, but it is the pressure and stress it puts to those who haven't achieved something. Jealousy begins when we fail to deal with the realization that somebody close to us has achieved something that we haven't achieved.

Clapping hands for somebody forever can be frustrating. But if you take motivation from how they do things, you have the potential to make many people clap hands for you. 

Seeing somebody succeed in life should motivate you. It should stimulate you and give you strength. It should get you thinking hard about what are you doing wrong that they are doing right. It should challenge you to introspect and evaluate yourself to find solutions for your own problems. Somebody’s success should keep you on your toes. It should sharpen your concentration and make you pay attention to little details that you usually take for granted. It should drive you to where you want to be or to where you want to get. Seeing somebody succeed should encourage and challenge you to think about what is possible for you. However, somebody’s success should never put unnecessary pressure on you.

Seeing somebody move forth in life has the power to put us under so much stress. How we choose to deal with the pressure we incur is fundamental to our way forward. Hence if seeing somebody succeeds in life hurts you, you might start being negative about and towards people who succeed. Somebody's achievements should motivate you to work hard.

I believe everybody is destined for greatness. Every one of us has the potential to succeed in life. The pace of your success may not be the same as that of your friend or colleague, but everything has its own time. When your friend's time arrives, it doesn't mean because you share the same age, it should automatically be yourself. Your day will come. Maybe not today, tomorrow or next month but your day will come. But, one great speaker said "if you give up now, no day in the future is going to be your day."

So does somebody’s achievements hurt you or encourage you? 

What is it going to be?

By: Lindokuhle Mnisi

I like asking this question. I think everybody should ask him/her self this question every time they go through life. Every time we undergo life circumstances, big or small, we need to ask ourselves this crucial question. So what is it going to be? So what are you going to do about it?
Now that things are not going well in your life, now that everything you touch seems to be falling apart, now that everything you try to do doesn't seem to materialize, what are you going to do about it?

Now that you’ve invested so much money into a business you were trying to establish and it didn’t take off, now that your belongings have been repossessed because you are in debt, now that you have lost almost everything, what are you going to do about it?

There are lots of options you can select from. There are lots of choices you can choose from. You can either choose to give up, or you can choose to hold your head up. You can choose to sit down, take a deep breath and think about what to do next, or you can choose to sit where life has left you and not think about a way forward.

You can either decide to take life lessons from the ordeals you’ve gone through because every life event has a lesson to teach us. Experience is the best teacher. You can choose to take those circumstances as a training/learning curve to prepare you for similar circumstances that you most probably going to come across again in life. You can choose to regard your difficulties as a lesson and not a punishment. Or you can just regard everything you are going through as a curse.

You can choose to start sulking, pointing fingers and blaming everybody. You can blame the world for everything. You can take to social media networks and start telling the whole world how miserable your life is. You can begin to be grumpy and aggressive towards everybody including your family, friends, colleagues and potential clients who do not see you in the manner that you see yourself. You can just choose to give up everything right away and call yourself a failure.

Let me tell you something, there are lots of people with bigger problems than yours. There are people who have seen worse than what you have seen. There are high possibilities that what you are going through is just a tip of an ice bag if compared to what other people have gone through or are going through. Before you start thinking you are the most miserable person alive, think out of the box. People are really having it hard out there.

People have lost their loved ones. People are being abused sexually, emotionally and physically by their loved ones. Women are raising children who were born from rape. Women are left HIV positive and pregnant by rapists. Men and women are diagnosed with cancer of any kind. Innocent people are left crippled for life by road accidents that are caused by drunk drivers.

Some people lose their lives on the roads, without being the cause of the accident. A drunk driver just emerges from nowhere and ploughs into a number of vehicles, killing lots of families. Some people wish they were not blind. Some people wish they had hands. Some people wish they could walk, talk or hear. They can’t. They were born without that “luxury”.

Before you start thinking that your world is miserable, think about the reality of life. Think about how lucky you are to be the person that you are. Think about how lucky you are to be alive. When you start thinking that your life is done, ask yourself “so what is it going to be? So what am I going to do about it?

The decision you take now will have an impact in your future. Whether it is a positive or negative decision, but it will have the impact you applied for. If you remain positive and come up with plans to get out of the ordeals, you are likely to get to the finish line victoriously.

If you keep your head up and move forward, you have the potential to make it. I don’t know what your problems are. I don’t know how big your problem is, but like a great man, Les Brown, said “You’ve got something special in you. You’ve got power within you.” You can conquer against all odds.

I said in one of my verses in my songs as a hip hop artist.

It is possible. You can go far if you believe.
Of course it’s not easy. Try harder for the life you want to live.
Many people who made it never had it easy.
Struggle and hustle. Get busy before you have it easy.

Life is not a walk in a park. Life is not a game.
If you can’t tackle it down, you better think again.
You’ve gotta be strong. Listen to what other people say.
They’ve been here and they’ve been there. They’ll show the way.

Of course you’ve got problems, but somebody has got bigger than yours.
Bigger than those you can breakthrough, while you still have a choice.
Face your problems no matter what, man you gotta have balls.
Somebody is talking to you, listen to the voice.

Life is possible, La, life is possible.
Not even the sky is the limit. Life is possible.
Life is possible, La, life is possible.
Let no one bring you down. Know you are incredible.